In Loving Memory Tombstone: Inscriptions, Wording & Examples

The phrase “in loving memory” is one of the most common opening lines on a tombstone or memorial plaque. It is a concise way to honor the deceased and to indicate that the marker is a memorial rather than a nameplate. This page covers the most popular phrases that begin with “in loving memory,” the design conventions for tombstones, and how to choose the right wording for your memorial.

Common phrases

The most popular “in loving memory” phrases are “In loving memory of [name],” “In loving memory of [name], [birth year]-[death year],” “In loving memory of [name], beloved [relationship],” and “In loving memory of [name], [short phrase or quote].” Each phrase has its own conventions and its own tone.

“In loving memory of [name]” is the simplest and is appropriate for any memorial. “In loving memory of [name], [birth year]-[death year]” adds the dates and is the most common on a traditional headstone. “In loving memory of [name], beloved [relationship]” emphasizes the relationship and is common on a family memorial. “In loving memory of [name], [short phrase or quote]” adds a personal touch and is common on a small garden plaque.

Companion inscriptions

The phrase “in loving memory” is often paired with a short inscription that adds meaning. Common companion inscriptions include religious verses (“Well done, thou good and faithful servant”, Matthew 25:21), literary quotes (“Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day”, anon), family-oriented phrases (“A devoted mother and grandmother”), symbolic phrases (“Forever in our hearts,” “Gone but not forgotten”), and personal phrases (original lines written by the family).

The companion inscription is typically set in a smaller font below the name and dates. On a small plaque, the companion inscription may be omitted in favor of a single-line inscription.

Design conventions

Tombstones with “in loving memory” inscriptions are typically made of granite (the most common), bronze (often set on a granite base), marble (less common for new installations), or concrete (the least expensive). The inscription is typically set in a polished or steeled finish with the lettering raised or recessed.

The lettering style is typically a serif typeface (Times Roman, Garamond, or similar) for a traditional look, or a sans-serif typeface (Helvetica, Frutiger) for a modern look. The lettering is usually sandblasted (recessed into the surface) or laser-etched. A raised-letter casting is used on bronze.

Choosing the Right Wording

The wording should be short enough to read from a few feet away. A traditional headstone inscription typically has 20-40 words. A small plaque has 10-20 words. A large upright monument can accommodate 60-80 words but loses the immediacy of a short inscription if the text is too long.

The tone should match the tone of the memorial. A traditional family often prefers a formal inscription. A less traditional family may prefer a personal phrase or a literary quote. A child-sized marker often uses simpler language.

Choosing the Right Phrase

The phrase on an “in loving memory” tombstone should reflect the relationship and the personality of the deceased. For a spouse, “In loving memory of my beloved wife/husband” is a traditional choice. For a parent, “In loving memory of our devoted mother/father” is common. For a child, “In loving memory of our beloved child” is appropriate.

The phrase can be paired with a short quote or verse. For a religious family, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21) or “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25) is appropriate. For a less religious family, “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day” or “Forever in our hearts” is appropriate.

The phrase can also be paired with a symbol. A cross is appropriate for a Christian family. A Star of David is appropriate for a Jewish family. A dove, an angel, or a rose is appropriate for any family. A military insignia is appropriate for a veteran.

Working With the Monument Company

The monument company will help lay out the inscription on the tombstone. The producer will create a proof showing the text, the artwork, and the layout. Review the proof carefully for spelling, dates, punctuation, and balance. Once production begins, errors are difficult and expensive to correct.

The monument company may also be able to suggest inscriptions based on the relationship, the religious tradition, and the tone of the memorial. Many monument companies have catalogs of suggested inscriptions for spouses, parents, children, and friends.

References

• https://www.etsy.com/market/in_loving_memory_headstone
• https://www.plaquemaker.com/products/in-loving-memory-headstones
• https://www.amazon.com/24x12-Personalized-Granite-Memorial-Plaque/dp/B0DVDWD51G
• https://www.onravenlane.com/store/p/in-loving-memory
• https://legacyheadstones.com/collections/memorials
• https://www.pinterest.com/ideas/tombstone-in-loving-memory/898990140855/
• https://stockingfactory.com/collections/memorial-stones
• https://www.brownmemorials.com/blogs/beautiful-quotes-for-headstones-and-tombstones
• https://stoneletters.com/blog/memorial-quotes-headstone-epitaphs
• https://www.memorialslab.com/in-loving-memory-of-custom-name-memorial-personalized-grave-stone-marker-granite-plaque-butterfly.html